Between Their Lives
by 9r7g5h
Summary: Between each life, they were given the chance to rest as themselves.
**AN:** Ok, so. These poor babies have been reborn so many times, in so many different forms, but they always find each other. But so many of those lives seem to be sad, you know? They find each other, and either the timing isn't right or they end up losing each other, or there's tons of obstacles standing in their way. Life just doesn't seem to go well for them. So, I like the idea of there being a place for them in the afterlife where they can be together without the weight of the world on them. Just a place for them to be them. I like the idea a lot. Hopefully you guys like it as well.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Xena.

* * *

It was almost a relief to die. Not the dying itself, no, that was always terrifying. But returning to this place, this in-between space they had been granted? Where she could remember everything, and choose the form she liked the best?

For Gabrielle, it was a relief. Maybe a bit of a twisted one, she admitted to herself as she felt her soul changing, turning away from the shape it had held in its last life to the one she most preferred, but a relief nonetheless.

Xena had been the one to negotiate with the archangels for this place, a timeless room where, for a while, they could just sit. Sit and talk and remember who they were, discuss who they might be, and just, most importantly, be together. They had lived so many lives, still had so many more to live before they were allowed their eternal rest, it was almost necessary to keep them sane. A break, Xena had described it, to allow them to regain their strength after the trials of their latest life before being forced into the tribulations of their next.

Michael had listened, and between one life and the next ever since, they both always found themselves here. A room that took whatever form they both wanted- an interesting mix those first few times their minds hadn't lined up with what scenery they had wanted to relax in, though now, after so many times visiting, Gabrielle was sure of the sight that would meet her gaze when she opened her eyes: a clearing in a forest, a warm fire that never went out, a stream nearby full of fish, and stars to gaze at and make stories from.

At least, she hoped that was what she would see. That was what the scenery had been for the last hundred dozen breaks between lifetimes, since Xena had bargained for the room all those eons ago, but there was always that fear that it wouldn't be.

Although she was sure she would always choose the form she had worn the life she had been Gabrielle, the Warrior Bard of Potidaea, she never knew if Xena would still choose the form she had worn as the Warrior Princess. She didn't even know if 'Xena' was the correct name for her soulmate, and wouldn't until she opened her eyes and found the soul she longed to see. For all she knew, her soulmate might have chosen a different form for this break, might have chosen another life as her favorite for this meeting.

Although she would love whatever form her soulmate had chosen, there was only one Gabrielle longed to see. One she wasn't sure if she would, so she kept her eyes closed, preparing herself. For the excitement, the disappointment, whatever may come, she was prepared.

"It's alright, Gabrielle. It's me."

Relief flowed through Gabrielle as she opened her eyes and smiled up at the woman standing before her, a smile that was gently returned as Xena met her gaze.

She looked exactly like she had the last time Gabrielle had seen her in the living realm, standing on that mountain in Japa. Bound in leather and metal, smiling that soft, almost sad smile she always had for her, the light in her eyes switching from dancing in laughter to almost dimming in sorrow as memories of their farewell in that life returned. Though the sadness would never last long, joy quickly returning as other, happier memories came to mind.

"When are you going to stop worrying that I've chosen a different form," Xena asked teasingly as she held out her hand, gently pulling Gabrielle towards the log that had been set next to the fire as a seat. "You would think, after too many lifetimes to count, you would believe me when I say this one was my favorite."

"I don't like to assume," Gabrielle said with a fake offended huff, sitting down on the log a bit closer than she normally would have so their shoulders bumped into each other. "You never know, Xena; we might find one day we like a more recent life better than the one we're wearing, and far be it from me to stop you from choosing it."

"Maybe, but I doubt that's gonna happen," Xena said, leaning forward to pull the fish she had started cooking from the fire. Handing one to Gabrielle, she resettled herself on the log, keeping their sides pressed together while they ate.

The food wasn't real, they both knew that, but it felt and tasted like it was- an amenity Michael had granted them. Everything, from the softness of the furs on their bedrolls to the wind against their skins, felt perfectly real, even though it was nothing more than an illusion.

It didn't bother them, not anymore. Now they were just grateful they had even that.

"How long have I been here," Xena finally asked when the fish was finished, the last bits of seasoning and grease licked away by tongues and the spittle washed away in the river.

"About eighty years, give or take a few days."

"Huh. Always feels like nothing."

That was one of the things they were most grateful for, in there little timeless room- no matter who arrived first, their souls never felt the separation. From Xena's perspective, she had shown up no more than half an hour before Gabrielle had, just long enough to get camp set up and the fish caught and cooking- as if she had known Gabrielle was right behind her.

In a way, Gabrielle had been. Their souls linked, she had been right behind Xena, just eighty years later then she would have liked. Not that she had known that while alive, but, well hindsight made everything bitter.

"How was it," Xena asked, shifting so she was sitting on the ground, leaning against the log so she could look up at Gabrielle. "How were Mom and Dad after I left?"

In their most recent lives they had been twin brothers, born to a well off family in Canada. All had been well until their twelfth birthday, when Xena's body, Jacob, had fallen mysteriously ill. In less than three days he had passed, leaving Gabrielle's form, Kyle, with a hole in his heart and a determination to fix everything. He eventually had, discovering a cure for seven major diseases before he became too old to work, the last of which had been the one to steal his brother.

That always seemed to be the way of their lives. Whether they were family or friends, lovers or strangers that just passed at the right moment in the night, they had never, not once, had a full life together. They were in each other's lives just long enough to get the other set on the path they needed to walk, but eventually one was stolen away, leaving the other behind to continue on alone.

It wasn't fair, but it was their lots in life, ones they had to deal with.

"Mom and Dad were ok," Gabrielle said, shifting over so she was directly behind Xena. Reaching forward, she slowly undid the buckles that held Xena's armor in place, gently removing the metal to the side so, when she returned to Xena's side on the ground, she could rest against her easier. "They mourned, of course. Almost got divorced. But then Mom got pregnant again, and that seemed to fix things. It was a little girl, a sister named Circe. She was a handful, but still. Ranked pretty high up there on the list of sisters."

Her armor gone, Xena held out her arm for Gabrielle to join her, sighing contently as the woman curled into her side. "And what about your life, Gabrielle? Were you happy?"

A common question that posed an interesting conundrum, for they both knew that, without the other, happiness wasn't possible. They were soulmates, and even when their relationship wasn't romantic, their lives still required each other. With one missing, the true happiness they always wished for each other couldn't be.

"I was happy enough," she finally said, shifting her body so she was pressed closer to Xena, her head resting against her shoulder. "I grew up knowing I wanted to be a doctor. Met a girl in grad school named Kaitlyn. Fell in love, got married a few weeks after we graduated, had six kids-"

"Damn Gabs," Xena interrupted, a teasing smirk crossing her face when Gabrielle blushed and elbowed her. "You were busy."

"Shut up," Gabrielle said with a glare, fighting a smile of her own. "I was busy," she admitted a few moments later. "I worked too much, though I was there for the important things. All six grew up into beautiful adults- you would have liked them, even barring the fact that they were your nieces and nephews, you would have. They were good kids. All got married and had kids of their own. I eventually died from old age. It was…it was one of the more peaceful ways I've ever gone."

"It sounds like you had a good life, Gabrielle," Xena said softly. "I'm glad."

"It would have been better if you were there," Gabrielle admitted, wrapping her arm around the woman's waist to hold her closer. When neither of them said anything more- how could they, when that statement was, perhaps, one of the truest ones spoke- Gabrielle sighed and shook her head. "It feels weird, speaking of the latest life here. It's almost like it's all a dream, and the forms we have now are the most recent."

"Because we choose them to be," Xena said, repeating words she had said many times. They often had this conversation between lives, though the repeat never bothered either. It was almost ritual now- remember their most recent memories, allow them to fade as their chosen forms took hold, enjoy their time there while they could. A comforting, almost necessary ritual that helped with the transition between the then and now. "For some reason," Xena said with a laugh, "we've chosen this life as our favorite. And the more times we relive it in this room, the stronger those memories are, making them stronger than the ones we just lived."

"I think you know the reason, Xena," Gabrielle said, tilting her head up so she could look at the warrior's face. They both did- it was the second life they had lived where they were lovers. Before it had been friends, enemies, family, strangers, owner and pet even, every combination of life where they were important in each other's life, but only once lovers, in the first life they had lived, memories of which were faint even to them. They knew the general story- they had been one of the combined beasts that had originally walked the earth, before the gods had separated them in fear. But those memories were the ones that were the most faded, the most lost with time, and thus it was this second life as lovers, the one closest to the original they had lived, that called the strongest to them.

While they cherished every life they had lived together, this was still their favorite, the one that their future selves remembered if they remembered anything at all, and the life they were most connected to.

"I know," Xena said with a smile. "Though I do have to wonder why some of the others aren't more important to us," she added, teasing. "That one life where we were both warlords trying to kill each other, that was kind of fun. And that one when I was the princess and you were the king three times my senior I was betrothed to was interesting enough. And that-"

"Xena..."

Her teasing trailed off as she heard the hint in Gabrielle's voice- normally she loved talking about their past lives, treating them almost like stories they had heard instead of memories they had lived, the easiest way for them to remember. But it was clear Gabrielle wanted nothing to do with their past now.

Her mind was more set on the future, or what they could maybe make of it.

"How many more lives do you think we'll have to be apart?"

"I don't know," Xena answered honestly. Her hand started to rub Gabrielle's arm, trying to bring some warmth into the flesh she had suddenly realized was cold, despite the warm night and fire. "As many lives as our souls are needed, I guess. At least we've had some lives together," Xena said with a nod, counting off the lives as she remembered them. "That life when we were Janice and Mel, that was a good one. And remember that one when we were Harry and Mattie, only then Ares switched me to Annie and we had to deal with the whole divorce process and get remarried? Those two were ok."

"Yeah," Gabrielle scoffed, "those two out of how many? And they still ended just the same. Janice was killed in a landslide during a dig six months after they met, inspiring Mel to dedicate her life to becoming the most famous translator in the world- which worked, if I remember correctly. And Annie drowned in a storm three years after we got married. As much as we're soulmates," Gabrielle said softly, pulling away from Xena and into herself, "it just doesn't seem like we're meant to be."

"We will be, one day," Xena said, the promise clear in her voice. Reaching out, she gently grasped Gabrielle's chin, turning it towards her so she could stare into Gabrielle's eyes. "Remember what I said to you, when I taught you the pinch," she asked. "How, if I had thirty seconds to live, this was how I would want to do it- staring into your eyes. I'm sure, one day, we'll spend a lifetime doing just that."

"How do you know?"

"Because I have faith in us, Gabrielle," Xena said, nodding her head confidently, letting her hand fall back into her lap. "Think of everything we've been through- all the lives we've lived, and even in the ones where we mean nothing to each other, we still meet. We're still important to each other. Even separated as we are, we're still soulmates, and nothing can change that. The gods themselves tried to separate us, and the way I see it, they failed. Miserably, because here we are."

Silence, for a few moments, as Gabrielle resettled herself against Xena, leaning her head back against the other woman's shoulder.

"Do you think we'll get to stay here, when we're finally done?" Gabrielle's voice was soft, almost hopeful, and it broke Xena's heart that she didn't have an answer.

"We might," she replied, carefully shrugging so she didn't upset the woman leaning against her. "Michael said we could keep this space for as long as we needed. Though, moving on and seeing the other souls of our loved ones might be fun," Xena threw in, her tone almost teasing. They both missed their friends and their family, people they longed to see but had been kept from. They were content to wait, so long as they had the other, but that didn't keep the pain of waiting from appearing. "And who knows, really," Xena continued, her fingers curling against Gabrielle's side to make the bard squirm, breaking her out of her melancholy. "Maybe in the next life, humanity will have returned to the time of the gods instead of this time of technology the world's so obsessed with now, and we'll get to be priestesses for Aphrodite or someone. Or maybe we'll finally get to see one of those world ending prophecies be fulfilled." Glancing at her wrist, as if a watch had been wrapped around it, Xena shrugged again and continued fluttering her fingers against Gabrielle's waist. "There's been what, twenty of those things that we've lived through? Maybe we'll actually play a part this time. Or maybe-"

"Xena," Gabrielle interrupted, annoyed- in life it had been touch and go whether or not the warrior would speak more than a handful of words each day, but when she got into these playful moods, the bard could barely get her to shut up. "Will you shut up and kiss me already?"

They weren't sure how long they had between their lives- sometimes it was only what felt like a few hours before Michael showed up, asking one or the other to follow him into the next life they were supposed to live. Sometimes it was days, weeks, what felt like an eternity in their own little paradise, just the two of them, together. But it would all end, eventually, and they would be sent back to the mortal realm, to live whatever life them world needed them for next.

They had been brothers in the last life, so if the cycle they had hesitantly mapped out from their memories as true held, then in their next life they would be the worse of them all- strangers who pass in the night, nothing more than a guiding word or helping hand to the other to get them on the path they were supposed to walk. A face they would spend years thinking about, when their minds went quiet, their hearts longing for that random other in such a way they couldn't understand in that lifetime.

A life where they lived without each other, but at least they still both lived.

Nothing that would allow for the closeness they both craved.

So Xena stopped her teasing and complied, lowering her lips to her soulmate's, her hands coming to rest on Gabrielle's hips as the woman moved to straddle her, throwing off the last remnants of their previous life for the renewed memories of the one they chose to hold close.

The purpose of their room, their agreement with Michael, was so they could relive whatever life they most wanted together, allowing the closeness their souls were so often denied. And with their agreement so loosely based on the world waiting for them to be reborn, there was no sense in wasting the precious little time they had.

"I can do more than kiss you, if that's what you want," Xena whispered against Gabrielle's lips as she pulled away to breathe the air neither of them needed- they were souls, beings that needed neither air nor sustenance, but their minds still took their forms as mortal and reminded them to breathe. "Just give me the word," she continued, her lips moving down to brush against Gabrielle's jaw, her neck, the top of her breasts that just showed over her top.

Gabrielle pulled Xena back up, kissing her hard, her teeth nipping at Xena's lower lip before pulling away, her own eyes half closed as she nodded.

"I don't want to think about the past or the future, Xena. Just the now."

Gabrielle's legs wrapped around her waist and her arms around Gabrielle's back to steady them, Xena stood from the log and walked them to the bed rolls, gently lowering Gabrielle to the furs before kneeling besides her, leaning down to recapture her soulmate's lips as her hands began to roam.

* * *

It felt like a week this time, a week of love and discussions and the silly little games they had picked up from other lives, just keeping each other entertained as they waited for Michael to return and ruin it all.

After what felt like a week he did, and just like every other time, they couldn't help but hate him for it.

"What can you tell us about this time," Xena asked, though her attention was only half on the archangel. The rest was on Gabrielle, who was trying to stay as far under the fur covering of their bedrolls as she could- Michael had horrible timing, Xena would give him that. Leaning over, she gently nipped at Gabrielle's bare shoulder, laughing when the bard's hand shot out to smack the warrior away.

He could never give much information, least he compromise their mission in this newest life, despite the fact they wouldn't remember anything until they next stepped foot into their little room. But it didn't hurt to ask, and what information he could give sometimes helped. Not in the life, but in their preparation of their minds and souls for their rebirths. He had been the one to tell them that they would be brothers in the last life, and he had let it slip that one of them would die early. He hadn't told them who or why, but, and it might just be in their minds, but the little bit of information made going into the next life a little bit easier, or so it seemed.

"This one is actually a treat for you two," Michael said, granting them an easy smile, unashamed of their current display- he had walked in on much worse over his many millenniums. If anything, really, the sight of such love, despite the Warrior Princess being part of it, did his heart some good. "For once, you two might actually get a bit of a happy ending."

"We will," Gabrielle asked, pushing herself into a half sitting position, holding the furs close to her chest. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he continued, looking at the piece of paper he held in his hands, "is that you two will be childhood friends, two years apart, and you'll grow up to fall in love. You'll adopt a couple of children, get to spend, oh, about twenty eight years together before one of you dies, and then things will continue on from there. It seems peaceful, for the most part. Looks like the real world-required destiny resides in one of your children."

"So, lovers this time," Xena asked rhetorically, smiling softly as she leaned down to nuzzle Gabrielle's cheek. "I like the sound of that."

"Guess our cycle theory's off, since this time we were supposed to be strangers. Not that I'm complaining," Gabrielle said with a slight sigh- she had been hoping they would be right, so they could start guessing their next life without having to wait for the archangel to tell them. Partly just so they would know, and partly because Gabrielle was sure, somehow, it all meant something. Why they were the souls chosen to be reborn so many times- the most times she had ever heard another soul be reborn was seventeen, and that soul was Joker, showing up whenever his path was needed to help theirs.

Meanwhile, they had had hundreds, if not thousands, of lives, and she had been hoping that figuring out the cycle might help figure out why they were so special. But oh well.

"I'm good with lovers too."

"Good," Michael said with a nod, turning away from the two so they could stand and get dressed. "Gabrielle, you're actually to be the older one this time, so if you could follow me when you're ready, we'll go get you into your new body."

"I'm going to miss you," Gabrielle said as she finished fixing her clothes, turning back towards Xena. Holding out her arms, she snuggled close to her love, sighing softly when Xena returned the hug, holding her as closely as she could.

"It's not going to be for long," Xena pointed out, kissing the top of Gabrielle's head. "I'll see you when I get there, alright?"

"Alright." Leaning up on the tips of her toes to kiss Xena one last time, Gabrielle soon, too soon for either of their liking, pulled away. Keeping their gazes met, she walked around the familiar campsite to stand next to the archangel, her hand held out for his own.

He took it, and in a blink they were gone, not even the grass bent to remind her they had been there.

Whistling to herself, Xena settled on the log, sharpening her sword as she waited. She wouldn't have to wait long- the room never let her, a perk of their agreement, that they never had to be too long without the other. He would be back any moment now to take her as well.

And Xena was willing to wait for that. Besides, she'd be back. They spent every moment between their lives in the room; all she had to do was live and wait to return.


End file.
